The all-inclusive resort that my family just returned from is pretty aptly named. I have never been to a resort that had so many amenities, all of which were already included in the flat amount we paid. The poolside food and drinks are what I had in mind when I heard all-inclusive. But by the time I first reached the pool, I had already encountered a large number of OMGs that had never occurred to me, perhaps due to years of conditioning with normal hotel/resort experiences. Here were my top five encountered in the first 30 minutes of our arrival:
- A welcome massage while we waited for our room — after 8 hours of car & airport “fun”, it was great to be greeted at the hotel by a masseuse who worked her way down the line in my family giving each of us a scalp, neck, and shoulder massage.
- (Of course) accompanied by a welcome margarita — they say that with massages you’re supposed to make sure you stay hydrated, so it’s somewhat obvious that we were given drinks as soon as we sat down.
- Our own concierge on WhatsApp –Luis introduced himself in the lobby and said he would be our personal concierge. He then created a WhatsApp group for all of us where he sent us daily updates.
- A bottle of tequila sitting on the counter in our room — with 4 glasses, ice, salt, spices, and fruit slices. Which clearly was setting the tone for …
- A loaded mini-bar … that was entirely free — yes, I know, it says all-inclusive, so this shouldn’t have been a surprise. But after 3 decades of experiencing the impulse-buy price-gouging instrument, to think that we could daily blow through the entire contents of the mini fridge and countertop food tray took me a little bit to accept.
So with these and so much more included in our experience, it becomes easier to enumerate what wasn’t included. And that was one very important item that you had to bring yourself: self-restraint.
In this last week I drank more than in my lowest week during COVID isolation. My only braggable note was that I didn’t start drinking until the afternoon. 🙂
Needless to say, when I returned last night I was feeling, in a word, heavy.
So the name of today’s ride was: 226: Detox.